“The pain is part of who we are.”

Guys.

You know how I’d been saying I thought I might have lost my Bones mojo this season?

Apparently I found it, and it punched me in the face this week.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I loved this week’s episode. I went from going, “wow, I really enjoyed that hour” after I finished the episode to thinking “that was incredible” 24 hours later.

It’s not a blockbuster, but for someone like me who loves character development and relationships, it was like Christmas morning. You know, if Christmas morning was about tragic histories and triumph over evil and whatnot.

So, “Money Maker On The Merry-Go-Round” took me by surprise and ambushed me with Feelings, and I apologize for the very, very, very long post ahead. I swear I had everything contained and had a pretty concise post written, and the I got to the bar scene and FEELINGS SPILL ON AISLE NINE EVERYBODY.

Anyway.

I’m a little rusty, but here goes some Thoughts and Feelings of the Brennan kind in very long form!

(Fun fact: I am on muscle relaxants while proofreading this. It should be interesting.)

• Oh look, it’s a playground full of kids!
• Who are about to be traumatized for life. Because this is Bones, and that’s what it does in teasers.
• It’s a playground for men! No, not like that. More like a playground populated only by single fathers and their children.
• Oh, no. Are we in for a misogynistic discussion about parenting styles? Because moms want kids to be safe, while dads let their kids roam free on rusted equipment. Show, where are you getting at?
• We know not, for there is a dead body that needs some revealing, y’all.
• (Go read this recap for an excellent analysis of what playgrounds mean to Bones. Like… it totally blew my mind. And I’m seeing this show, and this scene, in a whole new light.)
• Back at B&B’s B&B (get it? I amuse myself), Booth is letting his “little princess” remain a “little princess” and play with her toys instead of helping out with the chores in the morning. I’m with Brennan: get the kid involved early, guys! Or else she’s going to be a pain in the ass about it when she should be doing them. (But… more on that later.)
• That being said: Aw, Booth! You’re a sweet dad. (Also: Pretty sure David Boreanaz has now interacted more with this latest Christine than he did with any of the previous Christines put together.)
• Plus: HEY THEY’RE HAVING BREAKFAST AND CHRISTINE IS ACTUALLY AROUND! I was beginning to think she was a figment of our imaginations.
• Anyway.
• Christine is playing with her stuffed bunny!
• Case in point: “The bubbles are pink, jackass.”
• EXCUSE ME DYING OF LAUGHTER BRB.
• Mostly because the kid actor had the perfect snarky tone to it too — that’s a little scary.
• (Man, actor kids get away with so much shit.)
• (Also: I used to have very involved conversations with my stuffed animals and dolls, too. Like they were siblings. It used to make my mom hysterical with laughter.)
• However, who isn’t dying of laughter is Booth.
• No, he’s flipping the fuck out.
• Because his princess is swearing!
• (Which, you know, is the normal reaction when your four (!) year old starts cursing.)
• (How is Christine four? Time flies.)
• On the other hand, Brennan doesn’t really give a shit. Because it’s a scientifically proven beneficial form of self-expression.
• SEE THAT EVERYONE IT’S FOR MY HEALTH. MOTHERFUCKING A.
• (See what I did there?)
• But: yes, I agree, swearing is very cathartic. (And I do it interchangeably in two languages! For effect!)
• Obviously Booth doesn’t agree — even though, come the fuck on, we all know he must talk a blue streak all the time. (If only this show weren’t on network TV at 8pm…)
• It’s a gateway swear to four-letter words! HEE!
• So he talks to his “pumpkin” (aw that’s what I call my cat… never mind) about not using naughty words in this house, and let’s be real, where do you think she picked them up, Booth?
• That being said, since Booth just announced he’s taking Christine over to Max’s for the day (hey, nice one, Show! I love the one-off comments that expand the show’s inner-universe), there’s another candidate for where she picked up that one. Because Max would.
• “But it’s not my fault, bunny is a jackass.” OH MY GOD THIS KID. The bunny fucking asked for it. Confession time: I’m an asshole and found Christine 5.0 (?) a little… hammy in her other two episodes this season. Here though? HILARIOUS.
• Also: Baby Brennan much? Can’t fault that logic, Booth.
• (Looks like Christine has as much of an imagination as her mom. Love it!)
• Sidebar: this reminds me of when I was a kid. Legend has it sometime when I was about four, I was in the car with my dad, and he was killing time by asking me what all the signs we passed meant, since we learned all about them in preschool — e.g. “What does that one mean?” “Stop.” “What does that light mean?” “Go.” “What does this mean?” “Train tracks.” etc. Then we get to an area with a senior’s residence nearby, and there’s an “elderly crossing” sign — you know the one with the pictogram of a dude with a hat and a cane? So my dad asks me what that means, and supposedly after a beat I answer, “… not allowed to wear stupid hats here?” Apparently my dad had to pull over because he was laughing so hard. I told you the snark runs deep in my blood.
• Back to Show: Booth, something tells me you’re going to regret specifying “in this house” with your kid. Since she is her mother’s daughter. It’s all in the semantics, man.
• At the lab, Brennan is wearing some sort of apron under her lab coat and plastic apron. I’m pretty sure it’s not a skirt, or a slip. Maybe it’s an extra layer of dead person guck protection so as not to destroy her likely-expensive skinny jeans and boots?
• Hey look, Jerktern is back! And apparently has turned into the Unabomber.
• Which is essentially everyone’s reaction.
• Cam: This is not a competition, Oliver.
  Jerktern: You are delightfully naive.
  Me: And you are delightfully assholey!
• (He’s not wrong, though.)
• Cam: What kind of person shoves a body underneath a piece of playground equipment?
  Jerktern: A fun-loving person?
  Me: THANK YOU HE’LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT! Seriously, he may be a jerk, but he’s a hilarious one.
• Heh. Brennan assigns Jerktern to Charlie-work. Excellent choice, Brennan.
• HA. Brennan asks Cam about her stance on swearing, and she tries to limit it to stubbing her toe and the like. Don’t lie, Cam. I bet you are a very creative curser. I would love to hear it. (It amuses me that even as an adult she limits Michelle’s to singing along to songs. Like, she may be grown, but Cam is still going to lock that shit down to prove a point.)
• Anyway, Brennan still doesn’t care about what kids say. Oh, you precious first-time parent, you.
• “Jackass? How delightful! I believe my first swear was in the ass family as well.” HEE JERKTERN. I am highly amused by you. (If I remember correctly my first audible curse was “asshole,” after repeating it from someone on the show we were watching. Which elicited a similar conversation about why we don’t use those words, even though I was thinking, “but Mommy says that in the car everyday?” Every other word out of my mother’s mouth was an f-bomb. On the other hand, I don’t think I heard my dad swear until I was like 18.)
• Brennan doesn’t believe children should be punished for expressing themselves in a nonviolent manner! How very progressive of her!
• (Right on cue, her lab-child Jerktern utters “damn!” HA I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE SHOW.)
• Brennan’s going to get in trouble, and her kid(s) will get into trouble, but they’re also all the most open-minded people around, and that is really fucking cool.
• But maybe wait until they’re middle-school aged, Brennan.
• Anyway, a piece of gut falls on Cam and instead of helping her, Hodgins takes a picture for the Christmas party. HEE ASSHOLE HODGINS.
• Also: HEY THERE CALLBACK! Ah, season 1, so young, so naive.
• (The Jeffersonian seems to have the wildest staff parties in DC. I want to go.)
• Bow bow bow credits!
• Ah, Aubrey appears to have woken up on the snarky side of the bed this morning? And assigns himself to the case? And ignores Booth’s sarcasm and takes his sandwich too? AND HITS BOBBLEHEAD BOBBY?! Booth of old shot men for less.
• Jerktern asks Brennan how much she worked when she first started out, and she says anywhere from 10-15 hours a day, including weekends, before she had a family. which:
  A) I actually would have thought it could be higher than that, given that she basically used to live in the lab
  And B) YES LET’S TALK ABOUT HOW BRENNAN HAS HAD TO CHANGE HER WORK HABITS DUE TO HER CHANGING PERSONAL LIFE AND THE EFFECT IT’S HAD ON HER.
• Seriously: it’s something I’ve oddly been hoping they’d broach ever since she got pregnant in season 6. They’ve mostly ignored it or implied she works as much as usual, but then once in awhile we get glimpses of how she’s evolved — like saying Booth doesn’t like it when she works late in the ghost episode, or leaving the lab in the shooting episode to go tuck Christine in, or working from home in the first episode Max babysits Christine in when she’s awaiting their return. Brennan is the best in her field because she’s a genius, but it’s also because of her relentless pursuit of her work. She simply can’t maintain that anymore because there aren’t that many hours in a day, so how has that affected Brennan? I WANT TO KNOW.
• Ahem.
• I’m sorry.
• Anyway, what I’m saying is that I love this nod, however small, to the fact that Brennan’s habits have evolved as a result of her growing family.
• (Then there’s a whole tangent about how I’d love to see Brennan deal with competition from other scientists in her field and realize she has to let it go and someone will eventually surpass her, because it’s the natural course of evolution. But, that is probably for another time.)
• Jerktern is as jerky as ever! He wants to surpass Brennan as Best Forensic Anthropologist Ever. Bitch, please.
• HA! “I applaud your ambition, Dr. Wells, but being the best in your field requires more than the accumulation of hours.” Not according to Malcolm Gladwell, it doesn’t. (That’s right, I read The Talent Code! Actually I didn’t, but I read a chapter for my sports psych class.) But: TRUTH BOMBS ALL OVER THE PLACE. You can’t be Brennan if you aren’t actually Brennan, Jerktern.
• Plus, you’re never going to surpass Brennan as foremost forensic anthropologist because you lack Brennan’s empathy and sense of justice, but that is a whole other issue.
• Jerktern: No, not “as good as.” Better than.
  Brennan: Well, I believe the expression is, bring it on over, Dr. Wells.
  Jerktern: No, the expression is “bring it on.” No “over.”
  Me: SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE SAID JERKTERN. SHE SAYS GOOD DAY.
• Seriously: HOW FUCKING ADORABLE IS BRENNAN?! She’s so fucking sassy I can’t stand it.
• However, Brennan and Jerktern unite for the greater good of winning the remains over Cam.
• Which doesn’t last long, because Cam and Brennan get into a tug of war over the skull. YOU GUYS IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE THEY’VE FOUGHT MY HEART IS SWELLING WITH PRIDE. It’s just like old times! (Hey, maybe that should be the title of this episode, since that is a recurring theme.)
• But, Cam proves she’s the boss and wins the fight, much to Brennan’s annoyance. HEE. I love Bratty!Brennan. SHE STALKS OFF TO SULK. She’s 12.
• (Remember when they used to fight over Brennan’s freebies? Sigh.)
• Angela: Cam, you’re either a genius, or a deeply disturbed human being.
  Me: A little of both, Ange.
• Also: I now really want to see Cam and Angela hanging out more?
• Cam: Would you mind passing me the victim’s nose?
  Angela: It’s weird that that’s not a weird question.
  HA.
• OK, let’s just pause to acknowledge how smart and skilled Angela is? We’re so used to seeing her do magicky magic on her computer, but I like seeing her back to basics here, gross though it may be. Angela is an extremely competent and trained professional who gets lost in the shuffle of all these geniuses and I am stating my admiration for her here. There.
• HA. Cam just compares facial reconstruction to arts and crafts! Oh Cam.
• Angela, why are you so shocked Cam is using a glue stick to put it all together? Brennan’s been using Elmer’s glue to do that for years.
• The actress playing the victim’s wife is really over the top.
• However, Aubrey telling her he’ll teach her how to change a lightbulb after the interrogation is over is amusing.
• I like Booth gently telling her to knock that shit off, though.
• Aubrey hates the one-percent more than Booth! That says a lot.
• (Booth? Hate to break it to you, but you are the one-percent now. It’s about time you built a bridge and got over it.)
• This is coming out of nowhere, though! Even with Booth reading his file — also, nosy much, Booth?
• But, oooh, intrigue! What is in that file, Booth?
• GIL BELLOWS! IT’S GIL BELLOWS!
• Billy Thomas!
• Ally McBeal was one of the defining series of my high school years, people.
• Anyway, Billy is a sleazy stockbroker (hedge fund manager? I don’t care). Oh, Billy.
• HE JUST FUCKING THROWS TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS AT AN EMPLOYEE FOR MAKING A TRADE.
• Like, who are you, Sleazy Billy?
• (Also, what is up with his delivery? Was he always this monotone, or is this an affectation for the role of Sleazy Wall Street Type?)
• This will not endear you to Booth, scumbag.
• Besides: Chekov’s gun, much?
• I knew the wad of cash would be the smoking gun in the dénouement.
• (Can you tell I’ve been paying attention in class? “Always introduce all the elements to your story so that the audience can find the clues in the end!”
• Suspect #2, who is obviously the killer because he’s #2, is really hot. I’m just saying. He’s all about the bass, too.
• Dude, don’t tell Booth about being a team. He knows how to work on a team, thankyouverymuch.
• “This is all crap. Utter crap.” Especially because YOU’RE GUILTY OOPS.
• Cam mistakes Hodgins for Jerktern! HA! DRINK! Yes let’s talk about how they look EXACTLY ALIKE.
• (I love when the show goes meta. Especially about Hodgins and Jerktern being brothers from different mothers TOTAL MISSED OPPORTUNITY SHOW.)
• Victim’s nose was busted from cocaine use! It’s the “deviated septum” excuse!
• Aubrey’s dad was an investment banker who was arrested for securities fraud. Except he skipped out on his sentence and fled to Croatia (of all places?) to escape jail time sans extradition. Ah, sounds like a peach. And also, of course he had to have a tragic backstory, because THEY ARE THE LAND OF MISFIT TOYS!
• Confession time: I was irritated when the preview this week indicated that Aubrey had a dark past, because all I ask is that one character on this show have a relatively normal upbringing. Yet, the show proved me wrong, because this backstory actually is quite different from the other sad tales — no abuse or neglect  White collar crime is hurtful in itself, but it’s a whole different ball of wax from what Brennan, Booth or Sweets experienced. So, I apologize, Show. You do keep me guessing.
• Look at Brennan being all empathetic about Aubrey’s sob story! And it’s totally genuine, too. Sigh. She has such a big heart.
• “It took me years to process my parents abandoning me.” HOLY SHIT ARE WE REALLY TALKING ABOUT BRENNAN’S FEELINGS ABOUT HER PAST?! Pardon my yelling, but IT’S ALL I EVER WANT. Thank you, Writer, whichever one you are, for acknowledging Brennan’s past and her struggles with it.
• It’s one of the things I am enjoying about this season, irrespective of my other problems with it: Brennan is now so self-aware and in tune with her inner conflicts, and I absolutely adore that we’re benefitting from her insight.
• More, please.
• On the other hand, we get to another issue on this show: Booth points out that the difference is Brennan’s parents left her to protect her, while Aubrey’s dad did it out of selfishness. But, I don’t see them that differently: OK, yes, Max and Ruth fled to escape imminent danger from following them and their kids, but the reason they were in danger in the first place is because of their selfish actions as thieves. I mean, robbing banks when you have kids at home in bed just for shits and giggles seems a little counterintuitive to selfless parenting. It’s sweet that Booth always believes the best in her parents in this situation, because he’d do anything to protect her, too, but I think he’s also blinded in that, which prevents him to kind of see the scope of what they did to her. (Yet, in other episodes like Christine’s birthday last year, he let Max have it, too, for denying Brennan a full childhood because of his lifestyle, so I don’t know.)
• The Brennan Family Saga just gives me Feelings, guys.
• I love Brennan and Booth discussing whether Aubrey can be objective on this case, though. They’re such good work-parents!
• Back at the lab, Brennan denies Jerktern any glory by pointing out he’s just doing his job. YOU ARE NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE JERKTERN. Heh.
• “Dr. Wells, I often find you to be a real pain in my ass!” OH MY GOD CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY FOR INNIE.
• No seriously.
• I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS.
• I love when Brennan swears.
• I miss Brennan swearing.
• Because she hasn’t really done it genuinely since season 1.
• And if anyone deserves to drop an f-bomb or ten, it’s Brennan.
• But since this is American network television, we’re going to have to go with ass.
• BRENNAN IS MAD AS HELL AND SHE WON’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
• Come on, admit it: you’ve all been waiting for Brennan to read Jerktern the riot act since he showed up, right?
• GO BRENNAN.
• HEE!
• Also: so maybe this is where Christine gets it from? HA!
• (I’d love that! Please tell me Brennan has a secret sailor inside her head.)
• Can Brennan swear more? I approve.
• LOL, Jerktern actually looks hurt that Brennan yelled at him.
• Brennan: The occasional curse word can serve as a healthy form of nonviolent retribution.
  Me: Ah yes, I nonviolently retributed someone in a parking lot yesterday with my finger. (HE STOLE MY FUCKING SPOT AS I WAS GETTING READY TO PULL INTO IT THE FUCKING ASSHOLE.)
• Jerktern: So you swore to stop yourself from hitting me?
  Brennan: Given your personality, I’d imagine you’re quite used to that.
• OH SNAP!
• OH FUCKING SNAP YOU GUYS.
• Ain’t no burn like a Brennan burn.
• AW YIS.
• I love me some Sassy!Brennan.
• HA. She assigns him more Charlie-work for his trouble.
• Jerktern: Dr. Brennan, how am I supposed to improve when you keep giving me orders that interfere with my investigatory methods?
  Brennan: You’ve got an IQ of 160. Figure it out.
• AW YIS SASSYPANTS BRENNAN IN DA HOUSE Y’ALL.
• Seriously.
• I love that her thing with Jerktern is a pointed burn before exiting the room.
• I sometimes miss Season 1 Feisty!Brennan, but this episode is like an explosion of Feisty Brennan with added iron, or something. It’s awesome is what I’m saying.
• Meanwhile, I find it a little disingenuous that Booth rags on the rich so much given that, you know, he is one of them, now. I know he and Brennan don’t flaunt it, but he could easily buy himself one of these fancy cars if he wanted. (Whatever happened to that Mustang he was restoring in the season 7 finale? Did he get rid of it because it was too full of his tears and pudding cups after Brennan went on the run?)
• Oh my God, a coke party? Seriously?
• Like, this is straight out of the 80s.
• Oh, silly Show.
• And is the stockbroker suspect supposed to be modelled after Rob Ford?
• I love Cam’s dress, by the way.
• Jerktern: Dr. Brennan already cursed me out. I’m not leaving until I find something that’ll impress the crap out of her tomorrow morning.
  Cam: Dr. Brennan cursed you out?
  Jerktern: She said I was a pain in her ass. Not pain in the ass. Pain in her ass, specifically.
  Me: This is a lot of discussion about Brennan’s ass. (Nothing wrong with that!)
  Cam: Way to go, Dr. Brennan.
  Me: Cam, I love you, will you be my new best friend?
• Because Cam is stoked Brennan finally did what they’ve all wanted to do for years.
• Plus: this is part of Jerktern’s problem. Like Arastoo last week, he’s spending too much time trying to impress Brennan, and not enough trying to advance science. Fool.
• It’s the next day! And we know because Cam is dressed in a fucking hot black turtleneck and pant combo. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
• Also, when is the last time Cam wore pants to the lab?!
• It’s like Early Cam!
• This episode is hitting callbacks all over the place!
• Jerktern looks like he pulled an all-nighter. Serves him right.
• HA! Angela has to break up the fight between Jerktern and Cam! In the most Mom voice ever.
• AAAAAND she finds the murder weapon, to boot! For which Cam congratulates her! In front of Jerktern! HA! Moooooom likes Angela beeeeeeeest.
• So, the hooker from the coke party had the victim’s wallet and wedding ring, and she claims she took them as collateral because he stiffed her (heh) on a payment he owed. SEE CHEKOV’S WAD O’ CASH! He broke into his boss’ desk to steal the money to pay her off!
• “So it was the hooker in the bedroom with a candlestick!” Ha, I said this was a game of Clue right before Hodgins did!
• AW YIS HODGINS DEFENDS BRENNAN IN FRONT OF JERKTERN! “My money’s on Dr. B. […] I’ve worked with the woman for over ten years, and I’ve never, not once, seen anyone do it better.” ALL THE AWARDS FOR JACK STANLEY HODGINS.
• Seriously.
• I love their friendship, without question.
• But I love how much he respects her as a scientist, and a person, even more. He’s got faith, baby.
• (And now I have all the feels.)
• And now for the funnies: another meta reference to how much the two actors look alike! DRINK! “When I look at you, I feel like I’m looking in a mirror and I have a hangover.”
• I love how Hodgins also knows Jerktern is never going to be anyone’s boss. HA. Sorry, Jerktern, even your bosom buddy doesn’t buy your shit.
• OK, the actress playing the victim’s wife is over the top, but she has the cutest dress on in her second scene.
• Ah yes, here comes Aubrey telling the victim’s wife she’s better off without her lying, cheating husband, not at all projecting his own feelings onto her, no sirree Bob.
• In other words HE’S TOTALLY PROJECTING. And then the wife makes him feel like a jerk because HER HUSBAND JUST DIED ASSHOLE and he realizes he made an oops.
• I kind of love that Booth lets Aubrey make these mistakes, too.
• Jesus Christ, Cam is walking on stilts. That’s how she makes up for the practical outfit.
• Rehydrating body parts, a Bones staple! “That is possibly the worst and the most wonderful thing I have ever seen”: anyone else think Angela might be suffering from that unresolved ennui she went through in season 8 again? I don’t know if it’s deliberate, but Michaela Conlin seems to be playing Angela quite frustrated/bored lately.
• The tidbit Angela shares about how some companies will bribe a trading firm to move their account onto a computer closest to the server because the nanoseconds they save in data speed transfer by doing that can make them millions of dollars was really, really cool (and awful), I thought. The more you know! Thanks for educating me, Show.
• It’s time for an Aubrey and Booth heart-to-heart!
• Aubrey begins sarcastically, but quickly reveals his remorse and apologizes profusely to Booth. It’s obvious he feels like crap, and it’s a blow to his confidence. He knows he fucked up good.
• Also, he still sounds like Christian Slater to me and it freaks me out.
• Aubrey: Normally, I’m a good agent.
  Booth: No, you are a good agent.
• I love seeing Mentor!Booth, you guys. It was neat when he did it with Agent Shaw in Season 6 and 7 (damn you Tina Majorino for all your talent and professional commitments), so I’m glad we’re revisiting that with Aubrey. I’m totally fine with Booth grooming the next generation of agents — it has to happen sometime. I really love his approach here: he could have gone off on Aubrey for his unprofessionalism in the questioning, but he knows Aubrey knows he screwed up, and that one mistake doesn’t make the man. So they both know Booth knows Aubrey screwed up, but Booth doesn’t feel it necessary to drive the point home anymore than is necessary, and reminds Aubrey that he is good at his job, or else Booth wouldn’t have him on his team. Aw, Booth.
• Booth: Think you got it out of your system?
  Aubrey: I don’t know.
  Booth: Well you better figure it out.
• Figure it out, he does: he backs out and says Booth should take Brennan instead, because he’s been monopolizing Booth’s time lately. Which, HA META COMMENTARY AGAIN on the Aubrey screen time lately, right? But also, I really liked this, for some strange reason: that Brennan deliberately stepped back and let Aubrey take over some of her usual roles in a case so that Booth could teach him how they all work. (As we saw her do in the third episode this season. Or at least I think it was the third episode? Whatever, I mean when she forced Booth to take Aubrey because he had to learn to trust the new agent.) Brennan is still Booth’s partner, always, but he’s got other duties to fulfill at the FBI, for which he needs Aubrey. I like that Booth’s leadership here is purposeful is what I’m saying, I guess.
• What I also love is how Booth doesn’t really fight Aubrey on it. He knows Aubrey has to work through this shit, so if he doesn’t think he can handle it, he has to draw his own lines in the sand. (Though I do like that Booth also acknowledged Aubrey’s contribution to finding who they think is the killer.)
• Anyway, Brennan uses her murder ray to find blood on Billy’s desk. Of course she does.
• Um, Billy? Threatening Booth with your “power” doesn’t really fly. Dude just took down a decades-long conspiracy in the FBI. Your shit don’t scare him one bit.
• On the other hand, Billy can’t be the killer because there are 10 minutes left in this episode.
• “Good thing you have a lot of money, because lawyers are very expensive.” HEE ASSHOLE BOOTH I LOVE IT.
• Jerktern: Oh you are swearing in your head right now, aren’t you?
  Brennan: I believe the term is “like a naval seaman.”
  Jerktern: I believe it’s “like a sailor.”
  BRENNAN KNOWS WHAT SHE SAID JACKASS.
• LOL, I love Brennan’s “but I’m sure you knew that” about cause of death, and Jerktern very obviously didn’t know it.
• And doubly love how Brennan found the actual cause of death and Jerktern admitted defeat, and Brennan took such restrained delight in knowing she beat him that she didn’t even gloat. Brennan, to me you are perfect.
• Jerktern: I suppose you just handed my ass to me?
  Brennan: Yes. As long as you are here, I will consider it my obligation to destroy you, Dr. Wells.
  OH MY GOD BRENNAN IS THE BIGGEST HBIC EVER.
• No, seriously.
• She doesn’t suffer fools lightly.
• And Jerktern is indeed a fool.
• Because he refuses to see the bigger picture beyond MUST BEAT EVERYONE ALL THE TIME. Brennan is competitive, but she’s also after the truth, first and foremost. She isn’t in this for the glory, she’s in it for the justice. Something Jerktern will never understand. He’s Brennan without the humanity.
• So, yes, she is out to “destroy” Jerktern, because his kind of science does not sit with her at all. And as long as he maintains his condescending, narrow-minded approach to their work, she’s going to hand his ass to him, every time.
• Jerktern: I guess I sort of asked for that, didn’t I?
  Brennan: Yes you did.
• SASSYPANTS BRENNAN IS LOCKED AND LOADED Y’ALL.
• Then she basically tells him to keep his friends close and enemies closer, and that is both feisty as fuck and an obvious threat, and I LOVE IT ALL.
• “Don’t stop trying, Dr. Wells. Second best can be plenty for some people.” HA.
• HA! Hot dude #2 who’s seen Friday Night Lights too many times is the killer! TOLD YOU! Clear eyes full hearts can’t cover a murder!
• “Without loyalty, we’re nothing, right?” Holy shit, what a tag line for this series, am I right?
• Hey it’s the Founding Fathers! I love the Founding Fathers!
• And Brennan’s there! Date night!
• Only it’s not, because she’s there to find Aubrey!
• This should be interesting!
• And it is.
• Because Brennan sought him out, after Booth told her what happened with the case.
• (OK is it weird that the blocking of this scene reminds me a little of the Finder date night?)
• First thing: I love how Brennan gently tells him she knows he’d want to be getting the accolades she and Booth are now getting for solving the case. Unlike Jerktern, this is not born out of competition; it’s compassion. She knows what it’s like to let your demons stop you from what you really want. For her, it was love and family. For Aubrey, it’s his career. (We’ve seen hints that he’s ambitious, like last week. This is good. But it’s a fine line to straddle, too.)
• Now begins the part of the scene which had me flailing and even inspired a mini-squeal on Tumblr the other night.
  Aubrey: Booth told you what I did, huh?
  Brennan: Yes. And about your father.
  Aubrey: Yeah, that’s my problem. You don’t have to–
  Brennan: I know. My father was a criminal too. I was fifteen when I was abandoned. I was angry for years.
  Aubrey: How did you get over it?
  Brennan: I didn’t.
  Aubrey: So this isn’t a comforting talk?
  Brennan: No. The pain is always there. The challenge is not trying to make it go away.
  Aubrey: Really not comforting.
  Brennan: Fighting it is the problem. We fight to try to change the past, or push it away. But the pain is part of who we are.
• Seriously.
• SERIOUSLY.
• ALL THE AWARDS FOR TEMPERANCE BRENNAN.
• There is so much to unpack in that exchange.
• Firstly: I love that Brennan doesn’t mince words, and doesn’t sugarcoat anything. Because that’s the whole point of her advice: you can’t paint lipstick on a pig. You can’t make the situation any different than what it was and is.
• Secondly: HOLY CALLBACK TO ALL OF BRENNAN’S BACKSTORY BATMAN. I’ve always hoped they’d return to it, and while we’re not exactly there yet, I’m so pleased they’re delving into Brennan’s feelings so much already this season, like when she said a few episodes ago that she hated the inconsistency of her education because of how many schools she went to (because of moving or foster care? It matters not here), and now this.
• Because I feel like she’s putting into words everything I and so many other fans have been observing for years, but couldn’t always express. We infer things from Brennan’s reactions to different events, and there are lines here and there throughout the years that allude to this, but Brennan flat out states why she is the way she is, right here. We could see how angry Brennan was in the pilot, even if she didn’t really know what she was angry about. (Since she didn’t know what happened to her parents yet — but we knew she was angry at life.) We could definitely see how angry she was at her father when he returned, and when he abandoned her again. Or even when she let him back into her life — remember how mad she got when he started working at the lab, because it went right back to her pain at losing him when she was a teenager? Even as late as season 7, she was still lashing out at him when he did something to set her off, because at this point it’s just a reflex for her; it’s so deep-seated that it’s a part of who she is now. She’s mellowed a lot in the past two seasons, like how she told Booth when his mom returned that she’s still angry sometimes, or how she kind of serenely questioned Max on why he did what he did in the birthday episode last year, and this scene, right here, is the culmination of all that growth.
• Brennan did try to fight it, for years. That’s what her walls were all about. Because pretending nothing could touch her might work in the short-term, but we all saw how she eventually cracked. Those walls also prevented her from experiencing life — those same feelings of hurt and anger go hand in hand with love and joy. So you shut yourself off from one, you shut yourself off from everything.
• So Brennan will always be The Girl Who Was Abandoned. But the same Girl Who Was Abandoned is now the Woman Who Survived And Fought For Herself and Rose Above It and Now Lives Wide. And she knows that no matter how painful her childhood was, it led her to this very moment.
• Plus, on a personal level, what she said just really struck a chord. One of my family members was killed when I was in high school (the person was just a few years older than me), and I remember how angry I was at that, and much like Brennan’s abandonment, it completely shook my world view in one fell swoop. I’m still angry at what happened, and always will be, but it’s part of who I am now. Or, maybe on a less important note for some but just as important for me, one of my beloved cats disappeared and was presumed run over last summer, and it hurt unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life, including other deaths. It’s only comparable to what happened to my family member, and this is even more salient in some ways because my cat lived with me, whereas said family member was someone I didn’t get to see everyday.
• ANYWAY. Point being, much like that death, it shook me to my core, and made me a very angry person. And I still am. And always will be. I am totally fine in admitting that and have never pretended otherwise. I am a bitter person, plain and simple. In the weeks and months following the disappearance/death of my cat (it’s a long story), I was in so much pain that I kept wishing for it to go away, and wondering when I would stop feeling like this. (Same as with my family member.) Then all of a sudden, one day, it hit me — I won’t. I’m always going to be angry (at the fucking asshole who did it, at the universe for letting it happen, at myself for letting her out), and I’m always going to be devastated. The trick is accepting that you’re always going to feel that way, but that you have to go on, regardless. You have to figure out how to live with that, and stop trying to fight it, because it’s just going to lead to you doing stupid shit like breaking down in gross sobbing in an airplane bathroom (or yelling at a victim’s widow, like Aubrey).
• So whereas in the months immediately after my cat disappeared (or, earlier on, when my family member died), I’d drive by the area she was supposedly run over (or they died) and think “I hate the motherfucker responsible for this and want them to die a thousand deaths,” then scold myself for getting so worked up over an accident, now whenever I have to drive by that street, I nonchalantly, reflexively think “I hate the asshole and hope he dies” without even realizing it, as though I remembered I have to pick up some milk on my way home. It’s just a natural part of me, now. I know it sounds awful, and I’m not explaining myself well and sound like a psycho, but what I’m trying to get at is Brennan put into words exactly what I have been thinking about myself for months, so thanks, Show. Seriously.
• And it’s actually something I was thinking about the day before the episode aired, so THANK YOU CANADIAN BRAIN PORTAL. I thought you’d closed permanently, but looks like you’re back up and running and in full force this week.
• Back to the scene: How much do we love seeing Brennan as the voice of wisdom now? Seeing her so self-aware of what makes her her that she can share that insight with others to help them heal? It’s all I could have ever hoped for on this show. It’s not just that Brennan’s walls came down, it‘s that she’s now kind of using those bricks to build a protective wall around all of her squint-family, too. She shares her strength with them, because she’s so confident in who she is now. Compared to the woman in the 100^th episode who claimed she didn’t have an open heart, she now not only knows she does, but shares it with anyone worth the effort. So, so beautiful.
• God, how much do we love Brennan’s quark analogy for Aubrey? All the “fury and fighting” about its relevance is just like the fury and fighting within herself to go after what she really wanted. She’s sciencing her way into love, and it’s awesome.
• It’s just so fucking her. She’s helpful and loving and understanding and compassionate in the most unique way possible. I LOVE IT.
• “If we’d denied it, there’d been no progress.” YEAH LIKE ALL THOSE YEARS YOU DENIED YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH BOOTH YOU BIG DUMMY.
• Sorry. I don’t know what came over me.
• (Well yes I do: FEELINGS.)
• Aubrey: That was a really brainy analogy.
  Brennan: That’s because I’m really brainy.
  YEAH SO FUCKING DEAL WITH IT.
• (I don’t know why I’m so curse-y tonight.)
• (Yes I do: it’s me.)
• Ah, Aubrey was already pledging for the Temperance Brennan Appreciation Society, but I think in this moment, he just became a card-carrying member and applied to be treasurer.
• I’ve gotta hand it to John Boyd, too: Aubrey is tearing up, and it’s obvious he’s not only shaken by his experience at work, but touched that Brennan is sharing with him so openly.
• “It’s not easy, Aubrey. But, nothing of value is.” HOLY TAG LINE FOR THIS SERIES FOR REAL THOUGH BATMAN.
• Because that’s just it, isn’t it? Nothing was easy. Brennan fought tooth and nail for everything good in her life. Her education? Completely on her own, with no help from her parents. She’s the best forensic anthropologist in the world solely on her own merits. Her friends? She fought her own trust issues to let them into her life, but they’re her family. Booth? Again, she fought her past to let herself love him, and thanks to that, she now has a family of her own.
• It’s why the writers threw so many roadblocks at Booth and Brennan over the first six seasons: it’s how we know now what they have is true, and earned.
• “So, I left my wallet at work, so perhaps you’d like to buy me a beer out of gratitude?” He so would. We so would, Brennan. LOOK AT SASSYPANTS MCGEE OVER HERE. Seriously, how adorable is she? If Temperance Brennan suggests you buy her a drink, you buy her a fucking drink, son.
• (“I’d like that very much.”/“I thought so.” SASS SPILL ON AISLE NINE.)
• A couple of other things strike me about this scene. One: that it is eerily reminiscent of how Brennan first embraced Sweets into their fold in season 4, in “Mayhem on a Cross.” Gordon Gordon suggested she share some of her metaphorical scars to show him he’s not alone; here, no one had to do that, because she knew instinctually (thanks to Sweets — SNIFF) that it’s exactly what is needed to help Aubrey. She’s done her homework and passed the test, people. Second: That Aubrey is going to forge a dynamic with Brennan that will be unlike any of the other characters, because he’s benefitting from all her growth. Whereas everyone else watched her evolve and open up and understand how far she’s come and how prickly she was and can be, Aubrey’s only going to know Happy Brennan, and I think that could be really, really cool to explore. (I think the episode before the one David Boreanaz directed will be a Brennan-Aubrey heavy one, so I’m tentatively excited about that.) Third: More drinking, please! I want to see a dinner party/bonfire (shut up it could happen)/party at the B&B B&B, people. You listening, Canadian Brain Portal?
• Ah, let’s get back to the B&B B&B Which Is So Obviously A California-Designed House (Set) Because A Northeastern House Would Never Have Random Atriums In The Middle Because Where The Fuck Would All The Snow Go In Winter?
• Where Booth asks Brennan how Aubrey’s doing: “He’ll be fine, once he realizes this isn’t something he can solve.” Oh my God, Brennan, you keep dropping truth bombs all over the place in this episode. How many years did it take Brennan to figure that out herself?
• Anyway, I must stop with the Feelings.
• “I figured if anyone could talk to him, it’d be you”: OK I lied. How much does this say about Booth’s trust in Brennan and admiration for her that he knows that she’s the perfect person to relate to Aubrey? And about Brennan’s trust in Booth and in herself that she accepts this mission? I love her, I love him, and I love them, the end.
• Aw, Brennan wanted to get home in time to put Christine to bed. She’s a good mom.
• “We had cake for dinner. KIDDING. … It was pie.” HA. Booth, I know you’re bullshitting Brennan to get a rise out of her, and I love every minute of it, including the waggling eyebrows. (Brennan does, too.)
• GATEWAY PROFANITY! DRINK! (God, I love that term.)
• (Also, I think I would kinda like this shirt of Brennan’s if we could see it. On the other hand, I like that they found a classic blazer that looks professional and is actually a great length for her. One star for you, Wardrobe Department.)
• So Booth is easing off on the reprimands for swearing now? But… Shouldn’t someone tell the four year old to stop swearing? I’m just saying. (Everyone knows they should be at least eight.)
• And the rest of this scene demonstrates why:
• Because Brennan goes for her goodnight hug when Christine (admittedly adorably) emerges from brushing her teeth, and Christine answers her with, “Goodnight, Jackass.” AND SHE IS SO PROUD OF HERSELF TOO. She’s like Brennan when Brennan tells a joke.
• Brennan’s shocked “I beg your pardon?” to the kid cracks me up. HA. Not so fun when the shoe’s on the other foot, hey Brennan?
• Plus, that word coming out of such a squeaky voice is hilarious.
• (I wonder if the actor’s parents then had to have the talk about swearing with her when she got home.)
• HA! Booth is such an asshole, all “don’t look at me, you started this” to Brennan while he leans in a corner. Love. It.
• Um, has no one actually asked Christine where she learned it or what she thinks the word means, though?
• I’m just saying, that might solve this whole problem.
• Like, does this kid even know what jackass means? For all we know she thinks it’s a term of endearment. Hell, in her household, it might very well be.
• Especially because she called her teacher a jackass! HA!
• (Unless her teacher is a jackass, because we know Brennan doesn’t stand for that shit either with her own teachers.)
• But: since she called her mom that, I’m pretty sure she thinks it’s as affectionate as “sweetheart.” (I get it: Max said it, and when Christine asked what it meant, he saved his ass by turning it into a “nice” word, right? Head canon!)
• Brennan: You can’t call your teacher that.
  Christine: Why not?
  Booth: Yeah, why not, Mom?
  Brennan: Not helping, Booth.
• Oh my God, I love Asshole!Booth so much. SO MUCH. This is all I ever wanted from their parenting.
• David Boreanaz is pretty adorable himself with the new kid, picking her up and spinning her around and stuff. It must be nice for them to actually have a kid they can interact with, instead of a breathing prop who cries all the time. Aw, Daddy!Booth.
• Especially Asshole!Daddy Booth.
  Booth: We are going to sit here and we are going to listen to Mom explain to us why not.
  Brennan: Really?
  Booth: *nods*
  Brennan: Really.
• HEE I LOVE THESE TWO ASSHOLES SO MUCH.
• And I surprisingly liked that this “conflict” wasn’t much of a conflict: they had differing viewpoints, they let it play out, and neither of them was totally right or wrong. (Sort of.)
• Now, I might have a cold, dead, black heart, but even I can admit this is pretty cute, and worth the recast.
• Plus: this is what Brennan means when she says you can’t fight your past, and you let it be part of who you are. It isn’t easy, but nothing of value ever is. And this? This is the most valuable thing Brennan could have ever hoped to have. All that pain is worth it, because everything she ever needs is right on this couch, and is a direct result of all of it.
• Excuse me, I’m verklempt now.

OK, I’m going to try not to express anymore word vomit now, because I think I did a fine job of blowing up all over this recap.

But I will just say that I truly, wholeheartedly enjoyed this episode, and did more so on each viewing. I haven’t re-watched any episode this season after its initial airing, because I didn’t feel like it, but this one I’ve watched three times already. It just clicked for me. I know many/most/all of my problems with this season so far have had nothing to do with what the show is actually doing, and everything to do with my emotional reaction to the story choices. But this one? It felt like the Bones I love, and the show I used to write profusely about every week.

Maybe it’s because I went in with such low expectations after just not clicking with the stories so far, but I just loved so much of what the writers did here. I love that Aubrey’s sob story is unique to the show so far, but still has a platform for bonding with all of the characters: abandoned by a parent like Brennan (and Booth), cocky agent with a heart of gold like Booth, grew up with wealth and lost it all like Hodgins, crushes on hot chicks with brains like Angela, etc. I’ve been tepid on Aubrey so far this season just because of how he’s been used — I like the character himself well enough — but finally, now, he feels grounded, and not just Sweets 2.0. (And again, I realize that was my problem, not the show’s, but there it is.) I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this plot so much, and it’s taken me by surprise. So, well done, Show.

I don’t think I can say anymore about Brennan that I haven’t already said, but her flourishing this season is spectacular. She’s strong, confident, feisty, compassionate, loving, scolding, gentle, ballsy — often all at once, and always co-existing without any one trait fighting with the other. She’s become the emotional rock of the show, which is wonderful. She’s the glue that holds everyone together: she protects Daisy in her grief, supports Cam in the lab when things get rough, chides Cam when she’s being a jerk, helps Cam see how she’s treating her loved ones, pushes all of the interns to be their best selves while helping them achieve it, reminds Angela why she’s her best friend, stands by Booth’s side in every single way, nurtures Christine in an entirely unique and positive way, and now offers Aubrey solace in his pain. To say that her character development has been astounding would be an understatement at this point, I think. She’s a far cry from the woman we met ten years ago, yet she is so totally the same in so many respects, too. I’m even more amazed now than I was before. (Whichever writer this was, can we keep him?)

In all of Brennan’s glory this week, Booth’s mentorship role kind of gets sidelined, but I am so enjoying that, too. I can’t wait to see more of how this plays out, and honestly am now looking forward to how Aubrey is going to be used in the show — or at least don’t resent it anymore, so that’s a plus, right?

If you made it this far, I salute you, and apologize. I didn’t know I had it in me anymore, but I have nothing but love at this moment, folks.